Notice anything odd about this bomber?

This 1965 photo is of a Skyraider, a fighter/bomber which launched from aircraft carriers. And yes, that IS a toilet under its wing! But usually we drop bombs IN toilets...we don't drop toilets as bombs! Pilot Clint Johnson (Captain, USNR Ret.) explains:

"The toilet was a damaged toilet, which was going to be thrown overboard. One of our plane captains rescued it and the [bomb] crew made a rack, tailfins and nose fuse for it. [After being scheduled for a flight mission], our checkers maintained a position to block the view of the air boss and the Captain while the aircraft was taxiing forward. Just as it was being shot off we got a message from the bridge, 'What the hell is on that plane's right wing?' 

"[The plane takes off. The toilet bomb] was dropped in a dive... When it came off, it turned hole to the wind and almost struck the airplane...The FAC said that it whistled all the way down.”

Story and photos from MidwaySailor.com.

Biological Weapons: The Tank That Shoots Poop!

Three years ago, a man named Aleksandr Semenov once patented a way to shoot poop from a tank.

I know. Pretty cool.

Here’s the way it works: Tank soldiers sometimes have to take poops. When they do, the poop above a big empty artillery shell. Then they add explosives to the mix and fire the shells at the enemy.

Or, as the patent says:

"The gun charged with special projectile is targeted on a safety zone or on any enemy target which is worth for catching it."

The result? The poop is out of the tank. Hurray! Also there are “additional military-psychological and military-political effects.” Translation: The enemy soldiers run screaming off the battlefield, covered in enemy grumpies. (Article via the Guardian.)

The Fart Battle of Medieval Japan

Hundreds of years ago, a Japanese artist painted a series of scrolls (fart scrolls, if you will) that show fart battles. Named He-Gassen (the Fart Battle), they are pretty funny, in a medieval Japan sort of way. Thanks to Tofugu for sharing these with the world.

Warning: These images do show medieval people bending and bombing.

In this scene, a warrior runs away while leaving his enemies something to remember him by.

"You can try to hide from our farts, but no shield is powerful enough!"

This cat appears to be in a fart tractor-beam. (Why is he battling a cat?)

Ooh, these military geniuses saved up their bombs in a bag. Nice one!

Fan it back at them! (You know the old saying, "The best defense is a good offense against offensive odors.")

Power Prizewinner: Uprooting a tree with a left-cheek sneak.

Global Interest in Saddam Hussein’s Butt

From the National Post

In 2003, a British soldier named Nigel “Spud” Ely was serving in Iraq. He was there when the famous statue of Saddam Hussein was pulled down. And with the help of another soldier with a crowbar and sledgehammer, he pried off one-half of the statue’s butt.

Ely snuck the butt out of Iraq by claiming it was military vehicle armor. Now he’s putting the bronze butt cheek up for auction, with proceeds to help other veterans. Anyway, this has caused a frenzy of headlines in bad taste (e.g., "You could own a piece of Saddam Hussein's butt" or this post's title). Here's more! 

• Saddam’s bronze butt is now up for grabs
• Bum deal for Iraq souvenir hunters
• Soldier offers cheeky deal
• War relic is prized ass-et
• Cashing a cheek: Soldier sees bottom line in Saddam’s ass 

Update: Saddam's butt didn't sell!

Passing gas in Afghanistan: It’s a no-no!

I just read in the Military Times that United States Marines stationed in Afghanistan have been banned from farting loudly. Here's writer Gina Cavallero:

Farting?  That’s practically a sport.  Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor. 

So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned — you may have to hold it in… at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.

But not farting may present certain military problems; as commenter Bruce Perry says, “How the heck are you supposed to open a can of whoopass without letting the gas out?”

Photo by Aaron Rooks.

Busting Grumpies in a War-Zone Isn't Pretty

Keep your feet off the seat!

An anonymous U.S. soldier in Afghanistan recently sent this photo to a website.

It illustrates why the Americans and Afghans use separate PortaPotties. 

The Afghans usually squat over pit toilets. Since they aren’t used to Western-style toilets (that you sit on), the Afghans squat on the toilet seat to poop.

This doesn’t sound SO bad, but that photo…oy! Don't worry, though. That's just dirt from the soldiers' boots that you see.

But who knew that the U.S. armed forces use pink toilet paper?!

The World's Toughest Underwear?

Actually, I'm just sort of assuming that Blast Boxers are the world's toughest underwear. After all, they're made for people in war-zones. And when things are exploding, you need to shield your butt!

Cover your a**!

Protect your petunias!

Okay, I'll stop.

Anyway, this underwear is made with things like kevlar AND anti-odor material. That means this underwear protects you from other people...and OTHER people from YOU!