"A cranial-nerve skull? It's just what I wanted!"

I'm going to be in Chicago for a few days. Until my return, let me share with you these cool pictures taken by Mark Frauenfelder of BoingBoing.

He took his family on a shopping trip to Harajuku, a kooky shopping district in Tokyo. That's where the Kiddy Land store has a special section devoted to toys and models that show an educational (and disgusting!) amount of anatomy. (And I love is the Kiddy Land motto: "For the human smile.")

I Want to Join Team Diarrhea!

Everybody gets diarrhea now and then. But if crowds of people start spraying their poop, there may be a major public health hazard...and that's when it's time to call in Team Diarrhea!

The Minnesota Department of Health has a group of public health students whose job it is to investigate outbreaks of food poisoning. And since 76 million people a year GET food poisoned in the U.S. alone, these students stay pretty busy!

But sadly, they don't make "Diarrhea Team" T-shirts...how cool would THAT be? So you'll have to settle for that picture of Diarrhea Bear.

Story here.

Overreactions to Gas Contractions

People can have bad reactions when someone else passes gas. And some people OVERreact. I remember reading a story from Houston where a guy named Juan cut one. Then Juan GOT cut by an annoyed man who threw a knife at him! (The meanie then followed that up by stabbing Juan in the chest.)

So can see how important it is that you avoid getting blamed for farting. To do this, you could choose not to fart, but let’s be realistic. More likely, you will need to choose a victim (known as a “scapegoat”). Choose your scapegoat wisely! Never pick a stranger or someone holding a knife.

Once you have made your choice, point to the person who will be scapegoated. Stand and state loudly, “You, sir/madam, are guilty of passing gas. The prosecution rests.”

Then sit down, looking important. Or run! (But keep trying to look important.)

Photo from SNL.

Are You Wiping Your Bum with Your Cell Phone?

I suppose you don't ACTUALLY reach for an iPhone when you're done on the toilet, but you might as well. Look at this headline!

Apparently, about one in four cell phones has "high or warning levels" of bacteria and other germs. I guess this sort of makes sense. People are constantly handling their cell phones, but how often do they clean them off?

Probably as many times as they wipe their bums with them. (Which is never!)

Story here.

Gross Link-Mania!

I seem to be a little backed up *ahem* with stories, so let me offload a few right now:

—These people make hats out of meat.

—Not to be outdone, this guy designed a HOUSE out of meat...and the meat would be grown in a lab!

—People who ride this roller coaster end up eating flies.

—This is a urinal that doesn't use water. (Except for pee.)

—This guy made a fart-operated random channel TV remote control. (This guy is either insane or my hero!)

—And finally, the state of Florida sent in a hazardous material team to deal with something horrible: A five-gallon jar of rotten mayonnaise.

The School Library Journal reviews GROSS STUFF!

I was looking forward to seeing what the School Library Journal would think of The Big Book of Gross Stuff. And today, I got my wish!

This [book's] pages are packed solid with disgusting information on an array of topics ranging from the predictable (vomiting, farting, burping, pooping) to the less obvious (corpses, shrunken heads, childbirth, and Rocky Mountain oysters). 


The author includes many historical anecdotes and interesting bits of gross trivia (did you know that the Apollo 11 astronauts left their defecation collection devices on the moon?). There's an extensive bibliography, which is rare in this type of book. 


The irreverent writing style is frequently laugh-out-loud funny and full of puns. Kids will love the euphemisms for various bodily functions and the sidebars (one has a recipe for making fake snot)... This book is not for the faint of heart. Some adults may feel it is in poor taste, but there are certainly middle school kids (let's face it, boys) who will eat it up.

“This skull bone’s connected to the YUM bone!”

"The skull! It burns!"

The idea of the Nomskull is that you fill a skull mold with batter and then bake a skull-shaped cake. (I can’t tell if the brain part is frosting that got squirted on later, but it sort of looks like it.)

Speaking of yummy heads, here’s an interesting dish being served at the Comic Con in San Diego. Jar-Jar Binks never looked more delicious!

Photo from REUTERS’ Oddly Enough Blog.

"...and THEN the actors vomited onto the stage!"

Elizabethan Stage

I went to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival last week to learn about vomit.

Really!

See, I took a tour of the Elizabethan Stage where the outdoor plays are held, and the actor leading the tour shared something interesting.

In front of the stage are two tunnels that lead beneath the audience. And from these secret entrances, actors can suddenly pop out, almost like they were vomited out of the crowd!

These tunnels are called "voms" or "vomitoria." (Just one tunnel is called a "vomitorium.") What's cool is that the Wikipedia entry for them actually mentions the ones in the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.

Anyway, we got to explore a vomitorium, but to my disappointment, no one blew chunks. But it was sort of a hot day,  and two of the people in the group fainted. We had to call 911 and everything. (It was almost as exciting as seeing someone take a gut dump onstage!)

The fainters were fine. 

I took the first picture; 

the second is from here.

“Just get ’em reading. Worry about what they're reading later.”

That quote above is from a VERY cool youth librarian named Amelia Yunker. I read it in an article over here that's so excellent, there's a shortened version below. (It's about reading, farts, and author Raymond Bean.)

Can fart jokes save the reading souls of boys?

You'd better hope so. [To read more, click the "Read more" link!]

"Smell the pee! Smell the pee! Good dog!"

This is a heartwarming story about a family, a dog, and pee. A while back, the Baltesz family of Bristol, England, lost their black Lab Simon. The dog had run off and been seen a number of times in the neighborhood. Was Simon just lost? Probably!

To help Simon find his way home, the Baltesz family used the “bread crumb” strategy. You know, like in fairy tales where kids leave a trail of bread crumbs behind them so that they don’t get lost? But instead of bread crumbs, the Balteszs are using urine…their OWN urine, because Simon knows what it smells like. 

That means they fill bottles with their pee and then sprinkle it in places that Simon was seen…and then they lay urine trails back home!

This actually makes sense to me. I haven’t heard if it worked or not, but good luck! (Story here.)

Garden Toilet!

I don't know about you, but parsley helps give me good breath. So when I need some, I just pluck it from the toilet bowl.

Photo by John E. Robertson.

"Would Her Majesty like more whale vomit?"

Way back in 1575, Queen Elizabeth I of England sat down for a quick meal.

Well, not that quick. It was made up of 300 dishes, and took 19 days to cook, present, and eat. Among the items served was "ambergris." This is also known as whale barf (and sometimes, whale poop!).

Why would someone eat this stuff? Because it's rare, and therefore valuable...and therefore, delicious!

Well, it's rare, anyway. Below is a video of a modern re-creation of Elizabeth's marathon meal. (A good shot of ambergris is at about 23 seconds in.)

Wow...is that chef a twit or what?

Bottled Bodies o' Road Kill

At first, I thought this was horrible: An English company called BrewDog has begun putting its bottles of ale inside the stuffed bodies of small animals.

The wee little squirrels, hares, and stoats (small weasels) were roadkill. Then someone from BrewDog scrapes up the animals and has a taxidermist prepare their bodies for use as bottle holders.

Why? To be outrageous and get attention, I guess. It's definitely gross! But when BrewDog spokesman James Watt said, "The animals died of natural causes...better to be celebrated and valued than left to rot," I wondered if he might be right.

Wait— getting run over by a car isn't a "natural cause" of death. That applehead! So this IS horrible: Horribly dopey!

And speaking of dopey, that reminds me of a song:

99 bottles of beer on the wall,

99 bottles of road kill.

Take one down, pass it around—

Oh YUCK!

 Story here.

Poop That's Too Hard (and heavy) to Steal

When your town's name is both gross and cool, ruffians and scalawags might steal your sign. That's what kept happening in the English town of Shitterton.

Solution: Make the sign out of stone! (More here.)

License to Poop?

I've never seen poo on a plate, and now I'm sorry I have. I wonder if this driver has another car with an "I LUV 2PEE" license plate?

Speaking of cars, I'm on the road for a little while...but Ultra-Gross will be updated on my return!

Nothing Is More Appetizing Than Poop!

In a blog posting back here, I told you about a restaurant chain in Taiwan that uses poop and toilets to sell its food. Weird? Maybe!

Known as “Modern Toilet Restaurants” (motto: “Go Pee or Go Poo-poo”), it's clearly a great place to bring a date. Look, this couple is sharing a toilet meal together!

Anyway, these toilet restaurants are doing great! But while sitting on toilets to EAT out of toilets is one thing, I do have a problem with Modern Toilet Restaurants: They've gone too far!

Look at that! They're trying to make poop cute by turning a pile of dung into a stuffed animal's fecal deposit. Wait, would a stuffed animal take a stuffed poop? This is too complicated for me!

Photos by China Photo Press.

People in Cleveland Are MAD at Lebron James!

How angry are Cleveland basketball fans that Lebron James bailed out on them and went to the Miami Heat? This angry...somebody made toilet paper with his jersey on it!

I have no idea of what the little dog is doing there, though.

You Gonna Eat That Bug?

A Japanese toymaker called Megahouse, is making “Gummix.” This is a DIY kit that allows kids to make their own edible bugs. 

This seems kind of silly to me; why MAKE edible bugs when you can just pick them up off of the floor?

Photo from AFP/Getty.

Who left the bathroom door open? (Oh, it's just money.)

You may have heard of money laundering, but it doesn't usually involve ACTUALLY washing dollar bills. But in the African country of Zimbabwe, it does!

There, the local money (called the "Zim dollar") is so worthless, people use it for toilet paper. More valuable is foreign money, like U.S. dollars. But because crime is high in Zimbabwe, people don't keep their dollars in their pockets, wallets, or purses.

Instead, they stash the dollars deep in their underwear. And as a result, the money STINKS!

So the Zimbabweans wash it. Makes sense now, huh?

Story here.

There Are Acceptable Ways to Protest...

...but this is NOT one of them!

This protester from Argentina needs to learn a more persuasive way to argue his point. (And no, I'm not talking about going #2!)

Photo from REUTERS.

Roadkill: It’s What’s for Dinner!

Tasmania is a large island (and state) off the south-east coast of Australia. And that’s where Tasmanian Devils live. (Who knew?) These carnivores are about the size of a small dog. And yes, they are pretty tough and mean…that’s why they’re called devils. At meal time is when these tough beasties really show their devilishness.

For example, Tazmanian Devils LOVE to eat roadkill. But zookeepers at Sydney’s Taronga Zoo can’t collect roadkill year-round. So instead, they have a FAKE dead kangaroo, and they stick meat inside of it. And as you can see, this doesn’t put the Tasmanian devils off a bit!

Photos by AFP.

Dogs Scooting on Their Bums: The Movie

Why do dogs scoot along on their heinies like this? Probably because their bums itch! But whatever the reason, I'm not going barefoot on the carpet anymore, thanks.

Use a One-Way Mirror Toilet…I Dare You!

How weird would it be to do your business in a public bathroom like this? This usable toilet surrounded by a one-way mirror was made by a woman named Monica Bonvicini. Installed in London, the idea was to test if people could “defy their own embarrassment” and pee and/or poop in it.

And I don’t know if I could do it! As you can see, the outside of the bathroom is mirrored glass, while from the inside, you can see everything clearly.

If I was inside and someone outside came up and pretended he could see me, I would start wondering, “Has some switch been thrown that allows people to see in?”

I suppose this kind of pooping paranoia is normal…and just for the record, there is no “switch” that reverses the glass. (Thank goodness!)

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

You know...I don't have to go anymore.

When Art Meets Fat!

There’s an artist named Nick Turvey who made a fat sculpture. Wait, let me have him explain it:

It's carved from a block of upholstery foam, and coated in a rubber skin, so when you grab hold of those rolls of fat you find they are actually soft. Some people are disgusted, others love it, but it's certainly provoking reactions.

Well, at least these ladies seem to be getting a kick out of the rolls of fake fat!

You Know What's Gross? Mud Day!

Every summer, kids in Michigan get to celebrate a special day all of their own! It's called MUD DAY. And that means they get to play in the mud! How fun is that?

Okay, not very fun. I think I can read that kid's expression. He's thinking, "I'm covered in mud. I hate you all."

I'll tell you what else is gross: Deadlines! And I'm on one right now, so forgive the lack of updates here...I've got some really disgusting material that you absolutely won't want to see.

More Mud Day photos here.

What to Do When Your Dogfish Won't Hold Still

This cook went to the fish-monger and bought a dogfish. (Yes, I've got a "dog" theme going today.) The dogfish is fresh...it's been beheaded and cleaned, so all you're looking at is the dogfish fillet. Then our cook sprinkles salt on the fish, and is astounded at what happens!

Weird, isn't it? The dogfish didn't come back to life...instead, the salt reactivates the muscles, causing them to twitch and flop. And if you think that's freaky, a lack of salt can cause YOUR muscles to cramp and twitch as well...that's science for you!

An Unwelcome Sight at the Book Store

You know, I'm not hungry right now...