Do not, I repeat, DO NOT pump your own gas!

By Robert S. Donovan

A study has found that the filthiest, most disgusting thing that people touch on the way to work is a gas pump.

Which actually makes sense! Yep, hand after greasy hand touches those pumps, and for some reason, we just don’t think about it. Sure, we’ll wipe down the handle of a shopping cart before pushing it through the grocery store, but not the gas pump. Go figure! 

Anyway, here’s the worst things in order of grossness:

• gas pumps,
• handles on public mailboxes
• escalator rails
• ATM buttons
• parking meters
• crosswalk buttons

BTW, here in Oregon, it’s illegal for drivers to pump their own gas. So I don’t have to worry about touching the gas pump. High five!

On second thought, forget the high-five. Germs, you know.

The Assassin Bug SUCKS!

From here.

I don’t think there’s an insect out there with a scarier name than the assassin bug (Triatoma Infestans). And trust me, they are GROSS.

These bugs are bloodsuckers, but that's NOT the gross part. Charles Darwin was once a victim of them: “At night I experienced an attack [of assassin bugs]. It is most disgusting to feel soft wingless insects, about an inch long, crawling over one's body."

Assassin bugs can give people something called Chagas disease. It’s fatal. (See, the bugs really ARE assassins!) But that's NOT the gross part.

Wikipedia

Assassin bugs live in North and South America, where they suck on rodents and bats. But humans are perfectly tasty to them as well. Once the assassin bug bites, it might feed for up to 30 minutes, with its body swelling up as it drinks.

Ooh, this is nasty: The assassin bug likes to crawl onto the face of humans and then suck blood from around the person’s mouth. Ick! This explains the OTHER nickname for it: “the kissing bug.”

That’s STILL not the gross part!

"Noooooo!"

The way humans get disease from assassin bugs might happen this way. The bug crawls on the sleeping person’s face and drinks blood from near his mouth. While it’s drinking, the bug poops. The assassin bug poop is where the GERMS are!

After the bug waddles off, the person wakes up. The person might scratch the itch of the bugbite, smearing the poop into his own skin and bloodstream. Or he could even rub his mouth and accidentally push the bug poop INTO his mouth. Blech!

A South American nickname for the assassin bug is vinchuca:  "that which lets itself fall." The bug gets that name because it climbs up onto the ceiling above a sleeping person and then drops from the roof onto the bed. Ugh.
Yes, THAT'S the gross part! And BTW, NPR has a great story on bugs, which is based on a new book called Wicked Bugs by Amy Stewart. ("Nooo!" photo from here.)

Stinky Sock Spiders!

Some people think spiders are gross, and EVERYBODY hates stinky socks. So you’d think that a spider who is attracted to sweaty, stinky socks would be revolting. But it’s not!

Here’s the deal: Mosquitoes are attracted to human smells, so sweaty socks are like mosquito magnets. And since the East African jumping spider (Evarcha culicivora) eats mosquitoes, it’s learned that sweaty socks are good places to pounce on its prey.

In the tropics, blood-sucking mosquitoes can carry diseases like malaria. So folks there should encourage the jumping spider to hang out in their dirty laundry! As this BBC article says, the spider “may be a rather ugly, bloodthirsty little creature, but it could help in the ongoing and complex battle against malaria.”

THE BIG BOOK OF GROSS STUFF can save your life!

By Jsome1

I'll let a doctor named Valerie Curtis explain. She says that disgust “keeps us away from [the germs] that would eat us up from the inside.”

That’s why rotten meat, dead bodies, and poop gross EVERYONE out. And everyTHING, too. When worms sense bacteria, they crawl away as fast as they can. (If we could read their worm-minds, they’d be saying, “Blech.”)

Dr. Curtis has some good quotes in this article:

By Ben Husmann

“If I go around leaving poo in your front lawn or spitting in your cups or making nasty smells, [then] I'm threatening you with my bodily fluids.” 

She also says that disgust created good manners: “Simple rules about not getting other people sick with your emanations.”

I like that! It’s not poop, vomit, or pee: It’s an emanation.

Anyway, you may be wondering how reading The Big Book of Gross Stuff can save your life. Well, I lied. And if you think that’s bad manners, you have to admit that a little gross lie is more polite than getting someone’s emanations on you!

The Worst Birthday Cake Ever

Dysentery [noun]: Infection of the intestines resulting in severe diarrhea with the presence of blood and mucus in the poop.

Oh, and that cake is pretty funny IF you've ever played Oregon Trail!