Your dishwasher is trying to destroy you!

Fun Fact: Your dishwasher is a breeding ground for killer fungus.

This sort of makes sense. The dishwasher is warm and wet. Fungus LOVES that! Add in food scraps for nutrition, and fungus is in business. And don’t think that soap or hot water kills fungus. It doesn’t!

In case your issue of Fungal Biology hasn’t come in the mail yet, it has an article about how researchers took samples from over 150 dishwashers in 18 countries. Over half had Exophiala, which is a slimy, black fungus!

But it’s not like Exophiala is dangerous, right? Wait, what’s this: “It may sometimes cause fatal infections in healthy people.” What? And here I thought all that black slime in the dishwasher was good for me!

I'll never wash another dish again.

Top photo from here.

Climb in and see what happens!

Photo by Shelley Pollock.

Worm-Flavored Soda?

Apparently, this is actually a CHERRY-flavored soda from yesteryear.

They were just trying to get our attention with that whole "worm" thing. (Sooo disappointing.)

Addition: For a taste review of "I Like Worms" see the comments!

Photo by Neato Coolville.

Carnivorous Snail vs. Energetic Earthworm!

The only snails I know are the slow, kindly ones that eat our cabbage leafs. Apparently, snails in New Zealand are a little more aggressive!

You can be an accidental mummy!

"Hel-looo?"

Did you know that you can become a mummy by accident? No, this isn’t a promo for a reality show about teen mothers (zinger!).

What I mean is that if you happened to fall into a tar pit or an ice crevasse or just a deep hole . . . and then if you died (sorry) . . . and then if you dried out and were eventually found, you could be a mummy, too.

It’s nice to dream, anyway! And this brings me to the Franklin Institute, a Philadelphia museum putting on an exhibition of 150 mummies from across the world that’s called —wait for it— Mummies of the World.

Some of the mummies are accidental ones, and some were mummified on purpose. Like this poor monkey-mummy from South America. Sure, it’s a cool name: “monkey mummy”. But that’s not a nice thing to do to a monkey!

To learn more about this awesome exhibit, check out this New York Times article. (That’s where these photos came from, BTW.)

"Dog treats are INSANE!"

Photo by Rachel Hogue.

"Hey Joe, can I get an autograph? Hey, where are you going?"

This guy must be a big fan of Minnesota Twins catcher Joe Mauer. Why else would he have shaved the player's name and number into his back hair? (From here.)

Nothing's more natural than eating!

I don't think there's anything disgusting about food. It sustains our life and also tastes good! Yep, food is—

Oh, that's horrible. And what the heck is that guy stuffing in his mouth? A burrito?

Anyway, even that extreme close-up doesn't change my mind that eating food is the most natural—

Oh, forget it.

Cherry Archer took these

 photos as part of her 

"Consumption Society" series. 

See her website. 

(Link via Flavorwire).

"Hello, operator? I'd like to pee."

"Press #1 and go ahead, sir."

Origin: Unknown!

All dogs are beautiful.

Except this one. Blech!

A chihuahua named Yoda won this year's World's Ugliest Dog Award.

Yay. Article here!

Everyone loves Jell-O

Take this dish, for example. Just dice up some ham and mold it into a ham-loaf. Then set hard-boiled eggs on top, and encase the whole thing in a Jell-O mold. Delicious!

From here.

Aren't hippos cute?

No!

Here’s why: Hippos like mud baths. I know, a little mud isn’t so bad. 

But after getting into mud baths, hippos use that excuse to fling and toss their own poop around . . . And they shoot it out of their mouths, like fecal spitballs!

Of course, they have their reasons. Hippos spit their poop to mark off territory. Bonus: If any of the spat hippo poop makes it to shore, baboons like to eat it.

Oh boy.

Top photo from the San Diego Zoo,

hippo mud bath by William Warby.

Fun for the whole family!

You probably share a home with other people. These people probably poop in the bathroom.

The next time one of these foolish souls does so, go stand outside the door. Once you establish he/she is busting a grumpy, start asking questions in a loud, worried voice:

“Everything okay in there?”

“What was that sound?”

“Oh my, that doesn’t sound healthy! Wait, did you hear THAT?”

“How’s the toilet paper supply?”

“Wait! What’s the odor? Are you smelling what I’m smelling?”

“Do you want me to call the doctor?”

And so forth.

Possible results include laughter (yours), rage (theirs), and the prevention of a normal bowel movement. Yes! 

Top photo by Wonderlane, thanks to frox.

"It was a very odorous" blooper!

In Cleveland, news reader Tracy McCool (!) can't get through a story about a man arrested for passing gas. Luckily, her co-anchor is there to help!



(BTW, "odorous" IS a word, but "malodorous" would have been a better choice here.)

Regurgitation Nation!

From here.

There's an article with a great lead paragraph at the NBC Philadelphia news site:

A 35-pound bag of human vomit was found in the parking lot of a Bed Bath and Beyond in Radnor – for the second time in a week.

The story also includes this amazing quote:

 “I’ve worked in hospitals and they don’t segregate vomit.” 

A tip for carefree living!

Gene Weingarten is a columnist for the Washington Post who shared this bit of ancient wisdom:

When smelling a fart, never realize you're inhaling molecules that had just been in that guy's [butt].

And while I have your attention, please stop parking in the toilets. Thank you.

Thai food can "lead to regurgitation"? More, please!

Over at CNN, Mark Wiens has a piece up on the most revolting foods in Thailand. Why are these foods gross? Well, Mark describes one of them as “a dish that is almost certain to result in a severe case of diarrhea.”

So that’s a good start! Here’s three of his top picks.

Kai Khao are hard-boiled eggs. But the twist is that they are fertilized eggs with baby chicks inside that are almost ready to hatch! Eating them is "a crunchy journey through odd textures that sometimes lead to regurgitation and the act of having to pluck feathers out of your teeth."

The dish called Gaeng Sataw is made with a little something called “stink beans.” That's becase the "beans emit a gaseous sensation that could easily be mistaken for a human fart."  

Chicken feet (a.k.a. Teen Gai) are horrific. "Scaly and covered in weird knuckles," they look like a horrible sea creature combined with a skeleton. 

Plus, how do you eat them? Mark suggests "sucking on them rigorously until the pulpy fat rolls off the bones."

It's then considered polite to vomit. 

See his full list of thirteen over at CNN.

How can Bile Beans be healthy?

New York Times

Bile: A bitter greenish-brown alkaline fluid that helps with digestion. Bonus fact: It’s stored in the gallbladder!

Beans: Edible seeds that grow in pods. People who eat them often fart.

Smoking is GROSS. Just ask the FDA!

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is going to require cigarettes to be sold with graphic warnings about how disgusting and dangerous smoking is.

And trust me, some of the messages are pretty harsh, even grisly. But it's for an important cause, so I'll share some here! (They get worse as you go.)

You know, to see the next ones, click on the "Read more" below... and even then, I'm going to leave the worst one out. (It shows a smoker's mouth, and it's HORRIBLE.)

Okay, who's going to tell him...

...to stop peeing in the pool?

From here.

Haggis is NOT a delicacy!

Don't do it!!

A Scottish teenager named John Davis set a world's record for eating a pound of haggis in two minutes.

Here are two things wrong with this story.

1.) This article refers to haggis as a "delicacy." That is incorrect. Haggis is an atrocity. (In case you don't know, haggis is a sheep's stomach stuffed with chunks of the sheep's heart, liver, lungs and fat. Oh, and some oatmeal.)

2.) The eating contest took place at the International Haggis Championship. The fact that this event exists is an outrage against humanity!

For a video of the contestants eating the haggis, go here. Top photo from STV-Edinburgh.

Friends make life fun!

Wait, what's this?

"A Colonoscopy with a friend ... Priceless"

You know, I'm more of a lone wolf type!

Pooping: Old School!

I just toured a historic home. Naturally, I was curious about its toilets. I mean, how did people poop back in the old days? Well, imagine my shock at seeing this!

My Theory: Back before homes were heated properly, toilet seats were too cold. And sewer pipes were so small, they couldn't flush big grumpies.


So you sat on a chair with a wicker seat set OVER the toilet. (This would be warmer than a toilet seat.)


Then you pooped THROUGH the wicker seat (see the stains?), which broke your grumpy up into smaller pieces that the toilet could flush.


Genius, right?


I told my tour guide this theory. He gave me a weird look and said, "The seat is there so people can get dressed comfortably in the bathroom. If they wanted to use the toilet, they'd do this."

Oh.

"Mom! My lunch-meat is smirking at me!"

How does one make luncheon meat smile? 

One word: FAT! 

Or how about three words:

Carefully arranged pork fat!

You can put ANYTHING in Jell-O!

Like cauliflower, synthetic owl puke, beets, ham, cabbage, squid jerky . . . you name it! Use whatever colorful ingredients you want in a tempting Jello-O salad.

Then you can barf the night away in style!

Ad from here.

I need owl puke. NOW!

There are many times in a person's life when he might have an emergency need for owl puke.

*thinking*

Okay, none are coming to mind right now, but just trust me! And for those emergencies, there may be times when no REAL owl barf is available. Luckily, there is a perfect product to solve your owl vomit needs!

Top photo from Wiseacre Gardens.

Game. Set. Poop pants.

Some people think tennis is a high-class, sophisticated sport.

And I'm sure that this gentleman will agree with that, right after he showers and changes all his clothes!

William Shakespeare: The Bard of Barf!

Sometime around 1590, William Shakespeare sat down and wrote a bloodbath of a play called Titus Andronicus. Here at Ultra-Gross, we don’t usually explore grisly topics. But since it’s Shakespeare, we’ll make an exception!

I don’t want to give away the plot, but the play has 14 murders, one live burial, and one pie made from two people and then eaten. 

Worst of all, the cannibal is a woman named Tamora who unwittingly eaten her own sons. This human-pie was made as revenge for a DIFFERENT atrocity, but anyway, now you can understand this new title for Titus Andronicus that Casey Fox came up with!

Cockroach sandwich bags!

Why would you want sandwich bags that have a picture of a cockroach on them?

Well, maybe you have a friend or co-worker who keeps stealing your food.

But a better question is: Why WOULDN'T you want these?

Who peed in the reservoir?

Here in Portland, some of our drinking water is stored in big outdoor reservoirs, like this one at Mt. Tabor. This worked out fine until the other day, when some bonehead was spotted urinating INTO the reservoir.


Why would he do something that stupid? According to this Oregonian article, "I thought this was a sewage treatment plant."


Yes, despite the crystal blue water, lack of any stink, and pretty outdoor setting, this somehow SEEMED like a good idea. Which still wouldn't have been SO bad, except the city of Portland then drained the whole reservoir and "threw it away."


Yep, 7.8 million gallons gone because of six-to-eight ounces of pee. (Which is totally germ-free, BTW.) 


Will the urinating criminal be charged with a crime? A police spokesperson said, "He's not out of the water yet."


Ziiiiinnngggerrrr!

Digestive Mazes Are Fun!

Artist Alex Chiu has disgustingly mad skills, and he gave us permission to share his charming maze of the digestive system. Print it out and give it a spin. It's a terrific activity for anyone who doesn't barf easily!

What are these stains on the Larry O'Brien trophy?

From here.

Mark Cuban owns the Dallas Mavericks. And since the Mavericks just won the NBA championship, that means Mark Cuban gets to carry around the Larry O'Brien trophy.

But holding it while peeing? What if he dribbles on it? I'm calling a technical foul for grossness here.

"Who wants ice cream?"

"I do! Wait, all that's left is Butt.Finger Blast? 

Never mind."

From here.

"It's like a toy you can eat!

I think ALL foods are more delicious when they look like human beings. Plus, it adds a little taste of cannibalistic adventure. So thanks, Happy Hot Dog Man!

Call me a landlubber if you want...

...but I'm still not going aboard the good ship FartButt.

So THAT'S where soft-serve comes from!

I guess this is the soft-serve's soft-serve.

This awesomeness was created by ilovedoodle.

Cereal Killer!

Artist Julien Bizat came up with this design for a new breakfast cereal: Sugar Frosted Kids! (The only thing I dislike about this product is that the kids get soggy pretty fast.)

Llama poop makes empires!

Today's Fun Fact: Llama poop is the most powerful of poops!

As you probably know, the Inca empire covered South America’s west coast 600 years ago. It was bigger than Peru, Chile, and Argentina combined. The Incas ruled!

What made such a big empire possible was a steady food supply. But since most of the Inca empire was mountainous, it didn’t have the best farmland. So how could farms deliver the goods?

Llama poop!

Alex E. Proimos

Even at elevations that were two miles high, rich llama poop proved to be the perfect fertilizer for crops… especially corn!

So historians agree that without llamas busting grumpies up in the Andes, the Incan empire could never have been possible.

Article from New Scientist,

top photo by Kmilo.

In Japan, underarms are a deadly weapon!

This is an ad for a Japanese hair removal product. And according to it, hair under a woman's arms will burn a laser into innocent victim's skulls!

Dog bites corndog (digestion occurs)

Dogs will eat things they shouldn't. Example: Our dog eats banana peels if we don't keep an eye on her.

When an Ultra-Gross reader gave her kids corn dogs, the family pit bull snagged one and ran off with it. Before the canine could be stopped, the corn dog was gone! The result:

Poop on a stick! The dog is apparently okay, BTW. (Thanks, Laura!)

Hello Kitty Septic Tank?

This septic tank will soon be buried underground. Then poop and pee will flow into it from pipes. So why does it have Hello Kitty on the side?

From here.